Tame speaking anxiety: On-the-spot stress remedies

Learn four techniques to calm your body, reduce stress, and perform with confidence. This is video 2 of a 4-part series by Cara Hale Alter, founder of SpeechSkills and author of *The Credibility Code*.

Before You Start

Goal: Learn and practice four physical techniques that reduce adrenaline in the moment, so that you can manage speaking anxiety when it hits.

Watch: "On-the-Spot Stress Remedies" — Cara Hale Alter, SpeechSkills / Lean In. This is video 2 of a 4-part series. Members are encouraged to watch beforehand.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Icebreaker · 10 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Activity · 20 mins
  • One Action · 10 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 5 mins

👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

🧊 Icebreaker · 10 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

Think of the last time you experienced speaking anxiety. What did you do to try to manage it, and how well did it work?

💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

Your limbic brain responds more readily to physical stimuli than to rational thought, which means the fastest way to calm anxiety is through your body, not your mind.

  • Take up space. Counteract the tendency to shrink under pressure by getting physically bigger. Research shows that a strong, expansive posture increases confidence and decreases stress.
  • Focus your eyes. When adrenaline hits, your eyes can dart to the periphery looking for an escape route. Keep your eyes on the horizon, nose and eyes pointing the same direction.
  • Breathe deliberately. Fight-or-flight tightens your abdominal muscles, making your breath rapid and shallow. Consciously release your abs and take long, slow inhalations to interrupt the cycle.
  • Take your time. The easiest way to feel in control is to pause. People who pause are perceived as better prepared, more comfortable, and easier to understand. Pausing helps both you and your audience.

🏋️ Activity · 20 mins

Practice the four techniques together (20 mins)

Work through each of the four on-the-spot remedies as a group. Take 4–5 minutes per technique.

1. Take up space (4 mins) Stand up. Take on a strong, expansive posture: feet shoulder-width apart, shoulders back, head up. Hold it for 60 seconds. Then try a constricted posture (arms crossed, shoulders hunched). Notice the difference in how each one feels. Discuss: which posture do you default to when you're anxious?

2. Focus your eyes (4 mins) Pick a point on the wall at eye level. Practice keeping your nose and eyes both pointed directly at that point without letting your gaze drift. Then try speaking briefly to a partner while maintaining steady eye contact. Discuss: how does it feel compared to your usual pattern?

3. Breathe deliberately (4 mins) Sit or stand comfortably. Consciously release your abdominal muscles and take a slow inhale for 4 counts, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Repeat 3 times as a group. Discuss: what do you notice in your body?

4. Take your time (4 mins) In pairs, take turns answering the question ""What's something you're proud of professionally?"" Build in a deliberate 2-second pause before answering and after each sentence. Discuss: how did it feel to pause intentionally? What did your partner notice?

Debrief (4 mins) Go around the Circle: which of the four techniques do you think will be most useful for you? When do you plan to try it?

🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action, big or small, you'll take before next meeting.

Now that you know your adrenaline level is influenced by your physical behaviors, what is your action plan for the next time you experience speaking anxiety?

Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, set up your the next meeting and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between