How to stop doing everything — and do what really matters

Learn how to prioritize your "highest and best use."

Before You Start

Goal: Identify what's draining your time and energy without adding real value, and begin making intentional choices about what to stop, delegate, or deprioritize — so you can focus on what matters most.

Watch: "Drop the Ball" — Tiffany Dufu on why trying to do everything yourself holds you back, and how letting go of low-value work frees you to focus on your highest and best use. Members are encouraged to watch beforehand, but a quick recap at the meeting works too.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Icebreaker · 10 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Activity · 20 mins
  • One Action · 10 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 5 mins

👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

🧊 Icebreaker · 10 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

Finish one of these two sentences: "Something I do regularly that I'm not sure is actually worth my time is…" or "Something I've stopped doing that freed up real energy or time was…"

💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

You can achieve more and create a greater impact by focusing on your highest priorities, delegating effectively, and letting go of the need to do everything yourself.

  • Accept that your to-do list is unrealistic. Many people try to fit more than 24 hours of tasks into a single day. It is impossible to do everything yourself.

  • Focus on your "highest and best use." Prioritize tasks that only you can do and that align with your strengths and values. Delegate or let go of the rest.

  • Stop doing tasks simply because you do them better. Being the fastest or most capable person does not mean it is the best use of your time.

  • Practice "patience judo." When delegating, resist the urge to take over if others do things differently or less perfectly than you would.

💬 Activity 1 · 5 mins

Review your goals

  1. Think about what matters most to you, at home and work. Write these down.
  2. Then write down what you do every day to achieve these goals.
  3. Discuss with the group: Are you doing things on a daily basis that ladder up to your goals? Share at least one goal and what you're doing to achieve it.

💬 Activity 2 · 10 mins

Prioritize Your To-Do List

  1. Write down your to-do list for this week. Include everything that is swirling around in your head.
  2. Put a circle around all the things you do very well with very little effort.
  3. Put a check mark next to all the things that only you can do—that no one else has the skill, the network, or the political savvy to accomplish.
  4. Put a star next to anything that ladders up to one of your primary work or home goals.
  5. Underline the things that need to be done but could probably be done just as well by someone else.
  6. Anything that has a circle, a check mark, or a star stays on your list. These represent your highest and best use.
  7. All the remaining items either need to be delegated or dropped.

Discuss as a group: Share one of your list items that is your "highest and best use" and one item you plan to drop. How do you feel about dropping this task?

💬 Activity 3 · 5 mins

Delegate the tasks you don't need to do

  1. Add to your to-do list: Have you missed any chores that you wish would just go away?
  2. Now, think about your village. Write down who you can recruit to take on tasks and chores from your to-do list: family members, coworkers, neighbors, friends, babysitters.
  3. Discuss with the group: Which tasks can you delegate, and to which member of your village? What will that free you up to do more of?

🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action — big or small — you'll take before next meeting. Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

Complete and share with your Circle: "One thing I am committing to stop, delegate, or radically reduce this month is… [describe it], and the time I will reclaim will go toward… [describe it]."

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, plan the next meeting and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between