Find a sponsor who will open doors

Hard work alone won't get you to the top. Wall Street veteran Carla Harris explains why you need a sponsor.

Before You Start

Goal: Understand the difference between mentors and sponsors and get honest about whether you have a sponsor in your corner — someone who will advocate for you in the rooms you're not in yet — and learn how to build this valuable relationship.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Icebreaker · 10 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Discussion Questions · 20 mins
  • Write It Down · 2 mins
  • One Action · 10 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 5 mins

👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

🧊 Icebreaker · 10 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

Think of someone who has gone to bat for you at work. What did they do and how did it change things?

💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

Hard work is necessary — but it's not sufficient. Having someone advocate for you in rooms you're not in is one of the most powerful career accelerators available.

  • The workplace is not a meritocracy. Relationships and advocacy matter as much as performance — often more — when it comes to advancement.
  • Visibility creates sponsorship opportunities. Sponsors can only advocate for what they know — making sure key people understand the full scope of your contributions is essential.
  • Sponsorship has to be earned and cultivated. It grows from demonstrated performance, visible results, and the kind of genuine relationship where someone is willing to put their reputation on the line for you.
  • Building these relationships takes time and effort. To make the relationship genuine and reciprocal, you need to truly get to know senior-level people. Offer to help them, learn about their passions and priorities, and share valuable information.
  • Sometimes your strongest sponsor can be your current manager. It's critical to make sure your work maps to their priorities — so that the relationship is mutual — and that they know your ambitions so they can advocate for you.
  • If you have influence, use it. If you're in a position to sponsor someone else, do it — deliberately and proactively.

💬 Discussion Questions · 20 mins

Move through the questions at the pace that suits your Circle. You don't need to cover every one — pick the prompts that resonate and let the conversation breathe.

  1. Carla Harris says the workplace is not a meritocracy — relationships and advocacy matter as much as performance. Does that match your experience?
  2. If you have a sponsor, how have they helped you? How could you deepen the relationship — for example, by learning more about their passion projects, or by offering specific, concrete help?
  3. Think of a few people who could become sponsors. How would you begin building a stronger authentic relationship with one of them? And how would you grow it?
  4. How can you make your work and ambitions more visible to senior people in rooms you're not in? Can you think of ways to do this that are communal rather than self-promotional (i.e., that don't trigger the likeability penalty women often face)?
  5. If you're in a position of influence, are you actively sponsoring someone? What would it look like to do that more intentionally?

✍️ Write It Down · 2 mins

Take a few minutes to connect the discussion to your own life.

Think about one person who has the influence and inclination to advocate for you. What would it take to deepen that relationship — and what's the first step?

🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action — big or small — you'll take before next meeting. Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

Think about one professional relationship you'd like to strengthen this year. Take one small step this month to invest in it — schedule a conversation, ask a thoughtful question, offer support on a project, or follow up after a meeting.

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, plan your next meeting and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between