How to win over colleagues

Bringing other people on board is one of the most important professional skills.

Before You Start

Goal: Learn new skills to win your coworkers' support and practice using them.

Preparation: Come prepared with a work goal that requires bringing other people on board.

This guide is built around a case study and exercises developed by Joanna Barsh, director emerita at McKinsey & Company and author of Grow Wherever You Work, with thanks to Kayvan Kian from McKinsey & Company.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Icebreaker · 5 mins
  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Kelly's Story · 5 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Activity · 20 mins
  • One Action · 10 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 5 mins

🧊 Icebreaker · 5 mins

One by one, fill in the sentences below and share them with your Circle. Listen carefully as each member takes a turn and say thank you when she's finished.

Today I am feeling… (choose one word).

The challenge of bringing coworkers on board with my ideas makes me feel…

👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

📖 Kelly's Story · 5 mins

Read individually.

Kelly was 25 years old when she took over a body shop manufacturing plant — 60 United Auto Workers employees, the lowest-seniority of whom had 30 years in the plant. After 2008, overtime was cut to zero. Employees had relied on that income to pay for their homes, and morale was low. At the same time, Kelly had a tough target: 80 jobs an hour. At first, workers tried to sabotage Kelly by deliberately failing to meet daily goals.

To improve motivation, Kelly started by humanizing her relationship with the team: she shared photos of her children, listened carefully as she walked the line, and picked up on what mattered to people — variety, recognition, and a sense of fun. She posted shift times on the wall to spark friendly competition. She included employees in focus groups on how to improve their workstations.

In days, output jumped 10 jobs an hour. The first time one of her door lines hit the daily target, she celebrated with the whole team. After that, the overtime issue faded — the team had found a new source of pride.

Adapted from Joanna Barsh, Grow Wherever You Work (McGraw Hill, 2017).

💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

Getting other people on board starts with understanding what they actually want, and building the trust that makes them want to help you.

  • Support coworkers' goals, even when they're different from your own. Kelly wanted to hit production targets. Her team wanted variety and fun. She had to accommodate their goals for them to get on board with hers.

  • Make coworkers feel heard and valued. Take notes — people love it when you write down their exact words. It signals that their contributions have been recognized.

  • Ask good questions. Open-ended questions like "What does great look like to you?" or "What is in the way of achieving our mission?" invite honesty and build trust.

  • Listen more, talk less. Listen with your ears, your eyes, your mind, and your heart focused completely on the other person. And don't be afraid to leave a silence after you ask something.

  • Help other people. If you go out of your way to help with their issues, you're more likely to get their help in return.

  • Celebrate small wins together. Put others in the spotlight. Spread the love and feel it come back to you.

🏋️ Activity · 20 mins

Bring Your Blocker on Board

Using the key takeaways, work through the exercise below — first on your own, then in pairs.

Step 1 — Name your goal · Individual (5 mins). Write down an upcoming work goal.

Step 2 — Identify your blocker · Individual (5 mins). Think of the person who is most resistant to you successfully reaching your goal. Then note down answers to these questions:

  • What do I need from this person? What resources do they control?
  • Why is this person resistant to my goal? Where is their hesitation coming from?
  • How will this person be affected by my initiative?
  • How much does this person care about my goal?
  • How can I address their concerns?
  • What is their goal — and how could I be helpful to them in achieving it?
  • What interests and values do I share with this person that could help me connect with them?

Step 3 — Problem-solve together · Pairs (5 mins each). One of you reads out your goal and your answers above. Brainstorm how you could win over your blocker. Then switch roles and repeat.

🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action — big or small — you'll take before next meeting. Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member).

Over the next month, the work challenge I'll address is __________. I'll focus on winning over __________ [insert coworker's name(s)].

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, lock in the basics for the next meeting — and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between