How to feel like you matter at work

Build a feedback loop so you feel valued and know you're contributing.

Mary ·

Before You Start

Goal: Build a feedback loop for tracking your own impact, and find new ways to add value.

Watch: Why We Need to Know Our Lives Matter by Jen Wallace, author of Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose. Members are encouraged to watch beforehand (about 13 minutes), but a quick recap at the meeting works too.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Icebreaker · 10 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Activities · 20 mins
  • One Action · 10 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 5 mins

👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

🧊 Icebreaker · 10 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

Think of a time you knew your work made a difference. What happened, and how did it feel? How does that experience shape how you feel today?

🔑 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

  • Mattering means two things — Wallace defines it as feeling valued and having a real chance to add value.
  • You can take charge of how much you feel valued at work — Many people assume this is out of their hands. Jen Wallace says otherwise: you can build a feedback loop for tracking your own impact, and you can help your colleagues do the same.
  • You can also shape how much value you add at work — Find a need, then apply your strengths to it. This is how Julie, a former caregiver in the talk, built a new source of purpose.
  • Being relied on matters, but there's a limit — Wallace says feeling needed is critical to feeling like you matter, but past a certain point, it can turn into being overloaded instead.
  • Asking for help gives others a chance to matter — It's a leadership skill as well as a way to manage your workload.

🏋️ Activity 1 · 10 mins

Create a Feedback Loop to Feel Valued at Work

Jennifer Wallace opens her talk with Greg, a firefighter who pulled a woman from a wreck and never learned whether she survived. He carried that uncertainty for years, so once he became fire chief, he built a system to track outcomes for his crew.

Build a version of that system for your own work.

  1. Pick one piece of work you finished in the last month whose impact you never learned.
  2. Draft two or three sentences asking the right person (a manager, client, or cross-functional partner) what happened as a result of your work. (Don't worry that you're burdening them by asking, because most people like delivering good news and sharing their own experience.)
  3. Pair up with another Circle member and say your ask to them out loud. Then switch roles.

Discuss as a group:

  1. How did it feel to ask directly for that information?
  2. Is there anyone on your team who would appreciate the same kind of update from you? Share who with the group and describe what you'd say.
  3. Brainstorm ways to turn this into a system. (Some ideas: Put a recurring reminder on your calendar to ask about your impact once a month. Or find an "impact buddy" — a colleague who sees your work's impact — and book a standing 15-minute meeting to trade updates.)

🏋️ Activity 2 · 10 mins

Apply Wallace's Add-Value Formula

Wallace shares a two-part formula for building real purpose: 1) Identify a need. 2) Apply your specific strengths to meet it.

  1. Take a moment to brainstorm needs at your organization that nobody is meeting. To come up with needs, you can answer these questions:
    • What client, customer, or stakeholder feedback keeps going unaddressed?
    • Which team or organizational goals are getting overlooked?
    • What does your team avoid or delay, and where do deadlines slip or costs creep up?
  2. Pick one or two needs and then list the strengths you'd bring to them.
  3. Write one or two concrete steps you could take toward meeting the need this month.

Discuss as a group:

  1. Share the need you're most excited to meet, and why it caught your attention.
  2. What strengths or resources will you bring to it?
  3. What's your first concrete step, and when will you take it?

🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action — big or small — you'll take before next meeting. Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

Share the message you drafted in Activity 1 this week. Come back ready to share what you learned about your own impact.

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, plan your next meeting and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between