Tame speaking anxiety: Introduction

Before You Start

Goal: Understand the biology of speaking anxiety and identify how it shows up in your own life, so you can begin building the strategies to tame it.

Watch: "Intro to Taming Adrenaline" — Cara Hale Alter, SpeechSkills / Lean In. This is video 1 of a 4-part series. Members are encouraged to watch beforehand.

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Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

• Member Updates · 10 mins
• Icebreaker · 10 mins
• Key Takeaways · 5 mins
• Discussion Questions · 20 mins
• Write It Down · 2 mins
• One Action · 10 mins
• Wrap-Up · 5 mins

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👋 Member Updates · 10 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

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🧊 Icebreaker · 10 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

What's one situation, at work or in life, where speaking anxiety has held you back from doing or saying something you wished you had?

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💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

Speaking anxiety is not a character flaw. It's a biological response. Understanding that is the first step to managing it.

• Anxiety is your brain doing its job. When the brain perceives a threat, it releases adrenaline to prepare you to fight or flee. Being singled out to speak in public can trigger the same response as danger in the animal world.
• The physical symptoms are real. Racing heart, increased perspiration, quickened breathing, dry mouth, nausea, clouded thinking: these are all adrenaline doing its work.
• Fear of the symptoms creates a vicious cycle. Many people fear the lack of control they feel around public speaking more than the audience itself. But fearing the symptoms makes them worse.
• Two types of strategies break the cycle. On-the-spot remedies minimize physical symptoms in the moment. Long-term strategies build a positive history of success that reduces anxiety before it starts.
• Speaking anxiety holds women back in concrete ways. Applying for jobs and promotions, speaking up in meetings, sharing expertise, seeking the spotlight: all of these are affected. Taming your fear opens real opportunities.

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💬 Discussion Questions · 20 mins

Move through the questions at the pace that suits your Circle. You don't need to cover every one — pick the prompts that resonate.

1. Speaking anxiety holds many people back from applying for opportunities, speaking up, and seeking the spotlight. Where has it most limited you?
2. What strategies have you tried in the past to manage speaking anxiety? How effective were they?
3. Can you identify any moments when a rush of adrenaline felt good, for instance, when you competed or won something? What made those experiences feel different from anxiety?
4. What would you sign up for or say yes to if you knew you could trust yourself to speak publicly at your best?

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✍️ Write It Down · 2 mins

Take a few minutes to connect the discussion to your own life.

Where does speaking anxiety most hold you back now? What opportunities is it costing you? Make a list of long-term and short-term strategies you want to try. These can inform your One Action.

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🎯 One Action · 10 mins

Commit to one concrete action, big or small, you'll take before next meeting.

Identify one situation in the next two weeks where you'll face some degree of speaking anxiety. Commit to trying one new strategy to prepare for it.

Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

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📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, lock in the basics for the next meeting — and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

• Set the day, time, and location
• Choose the next topic or resource
• Confirm who's leading the discussion
• Decide how you'll stay in touch in between