How to build resilience after loss

Bozoma Saint John shares how our deepest pain can make us stronger leaders.

Before You Start

Goal: Explore how difficult experiences—including grief and setbacks—can be transformed into sources of strength, resilience, and purpose in your leadership and life.

Watch: "Bozoma Saint John: Acceptance and Healing." Bozoma talks about how she found healing after the deaths of her husband and baby daughter. Members are encouraged to watch beforehand, but a quick recap at the meeting works too.

Meeting Agenda · Approx. 60 mins

  • Member Updates · 10 mins
  • Icebreaker · 5 mins
  • Key Takeaways · 5 mins
  • Activities · 25 mins
  • One Action · 5 mins
  • Wrap-Up · 10 mins

👋 Member Updates · 15 mins

Go around your Circle and share personal updates. Keep them brief and focused on significant changes or important decisions since the last time you met. It's OK not to have one every month. If you have a One Action update from last time, share that too.

🧊 Icebreaker · 5 mins

Invite everyone in the group to share, if they're comfortable doing so. Keep answers to one or two minutes per person.

  • Have you ever struggled to do your job because of a loss or hardship? How did you overcome it?

💡 Key Takeaways · 5 mins

Bozoma Saint John's talk is an empowering message about how we can take even the greatest pain and use it to make us stronger.

  • Pain can be a source of fuel. Difficult experiences—grief, failure, harsh feedback—can strengthen our ambitions and drive us to excel.
  • Adversity often precedes achievement. Many of our greatest professional accomplishments are connected to difficult life experiences that motivated us.
  • Sharing builds connection. Being open about our struggles creates space for others to do the same—and deepens the trust that makes a Circle powerful.

💬 Activities · 25 mins

Activity 1: Use setbacks to help you grow

Write down one or more recent events that you found challenging, either in your personal or professional life. Then write down as many reasons as you can why each might make you stronger or give you fuel to push forward with your goals. If you feel comfortable doing so, share one of these examples with your Circle.

Activity 2: Reflect on how adversity contributes to your greatest success

Write down 2-3 of your greatest professional achievements. For each one, consider: were you motivated by any painful or difficult experiences when working toward this achievement? If you feel comfortable doing so, share one of these examples with your Circle.

✍️ Write It Down · 2 mins

Take a few minutes to connect the discussion to your own life.

What's one message from Bozoma's talk that you'd like to act on in your own life? What would that look like?

🎯 One Action · 5 mins

Commit to one concrete action — big or small — you'll take before next meeting. Go around the Circle and share (1 minute or less per member). Vocalizing it helps hold each other accountable.

Over the next month, I commit to…

📅 Wrap-Up · 5 mins

Before you break, plan your next meeting and close on an energetic note. Go around your Circle one by one and finish the sentence:

Now I am feeling… (choose one word).

  • Set the day, time, and location
  • Choose the next topic or resource
  • Confirm who's leading the discussion
  • Decide how you'll stay in touch in between